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Keevins would “empty the bank for R******”, but as usual, his predictions about Celtic are outrageously inaccurate

I gave Hugh Keevins Sunday morning garbage my common examine the previous day morning.

I had the intention of analyzing it and skewering like I normally do, but I decided to preserve off until today.

You see, Keevins as usual, determined to make a prediction when it comes to Celtic.

Now, as I mentioned in Saturday’s article, he and prize village idiot, Kris Boyd, rarely, if ever, get their predictions right.

So I said I’d keep off and see what came about in yesterday’s cup tie and St. Mirren Park.

I’m satisfied I did.

The hilarious thing about Keevins is that his claims in relation to his predictions are so outlandish, so ridiculous, that you comprehend all he’s making an attempt to do is get a reaction.

But this idiot is too blind to see that he’s the solely one who ever ends up searching like a complete twat in these situations.

Then again, I wager when you’re stealing a wage like he does, then you definitely don’t care how stupid you look, do you?

It ought to be gorgeous to get paid for being a clown.

Here is the opening headline to yesterday’s breakfast serving of tripe:

I’D EMPTY THE BANK FOR R****** BUT I WOULDN’T PART WITH TWO BOB ON CELTIC AND HERE’S WHY – HUGH KEEVINS

There is a horror story confronting the Celtic fans that only this special town can throw up when the stakes are high.

The opening line of the article is then gorgeous in it’s utter arrogance, which is similarly layered in entire stupdity:

• I would not, on present day form put two bob on Celtic’s probabilities of nevertheless being in the Scottish Cup by using 4 o’clock this afternoon in Paisley.
  You could hardly declare that a win for St. Mirren would have to be filed below “Cup shocks,” given the way Stephen Robinson’s aspect are playing, may want to you?

I hope that Stephen Robinson didn’t seem at this article the day prior to this morning.

In fact I’m surprisingly certain that any supervisor with a modicum of experience would steer clear of this bungling buffoon’s inane ramblings.

However, if he had study it, he would have known the kiss of demise had been put on his side’s probabilities of advancing to the next spherical of this season’s Scottish Cup.

Because that’s what Keevins does.

When he makes a prediction, he dooms your group to the entire opposite of what he says.

And that’s precisely how it transpired yesterday.

He wouldn’t put two bob on Celtic to win.

But wait a minute, shock, horror, Celtic won.

2-0.

And St. Mirren lost.

Like I said, doomed.

If I was once Hugh Keevins, I’d me more inclined to put two bob on the opposite of everything he predicts.

YOU’D THINK HE’D HAVE LEARNED AT THIS STAGE?

But, as mentioned in Saturday’s article, he and Boyd are a exclusive type of thick.

Most sane human beings analyze from their mistakes, however when you mess it up every single time like Keevins does, well, you’re long gone way beyond the factor of no return.

He reminds me of Dastardly and Mutley, continually trying to quit that pigeon, however never, ever succeeding.

Then again, he does seem to be like a cool animated film character, doesn’t he?

With regard to him emptying the bank for R****** in relation to their upcoming tie towards Ross County, properly that’s like having a bet on a one horse race, to be fair.

I don’t suppose even Keevins could jinx that one, however stranger things have been recognized to happen.

The master of drivel goes on to ramble about the Ibrox aspect prevailing a treble, which most of our esteemed stenography corps believe is a useless cert now.

Weren’t they spending the Ibrox side’s Champions league cash ultimate week?

But with regard to Keevins, there are a few beauties I have to highlight.

Here is the first of those:

You would not, based on the poverty of their shows on account that the give up of the Winter break, open your curtains to watch Celtic if they have been taking part in in your returned garden. They have been baled out by using personal desires and penalty kicks against Ross County, Aberdeen and Hibs in rapid succession.

Baled out?

By what, hay bales?

Oh, I get it, Keevins meant bailed out.

SO WHO BAILED THEM OUT?

The opposition teams?

Or the referees?

Because in Keevins’ book, there is no corruption in Scottish football, is there?

But his “baled out” inference would endorse that there is.

Nobody “baled” Celtic out.

Our players were fouled, we were awarded penalties, official ones, I might add, not one of which could be disputed.

Well, they were, by way of none different than the village idiot, but shockingly enough, no person else.

Nobody used to be “baled” out.

Not by means of haybales, or true bail.

We never hear of the Ibrox side being “baled” out when they get a penalty that saves their bacon, do we?

Enough said.

I’m now not going to argue that our shows have been awesome lately, but nobody has been bailing us out.

It is frequently stated that the sign of a Championship prevailing aspect is one that doesn’t play well, but always grinds out results.

FUNNILY ENOUGH, WE SEEM TO KEEP GRINDING THEM OUT, DON’T WE?

Onto Keevins’ subsequent beaut:

Prior to the prison destroy that was once staged at Easter Road remaining Wednesday, Brendan said, “It’s my job to manage the internal voice of the team.” This sounds dangerously like mumbo-jumbo to me, but I can properly apprehend why the manager’s head has been grew to become via the occasions of a season dictated to by way of questionable signings.

Mumbo Jumbo??

Look who’s talking.

I relaxation my case.

And finally, the tour de pressure from the King of farce:

I am ancient fashioned. My trust is that, if Celtic go out of a cup competition, Rangers routinely become the favourites to win it, as they did in the case of the Viaplay Cup. Also, the idea that beating Rangers is the benchmark for any Celtic crew has been proven to be incorrect involving the championship.

Well Hugh, your trust counts for diddly-squat, due to the fact Celtic didn’t go out of the cup, did they?

I bet that’s what being “old fashioned” receives you.

Which interprets into being a stubborn historic fart, who will in no way alternate his ways.

Hence the reason he by no means gets it right.

So here’s a new state of affairs for you Hugh.

Celtic play Livingston at domestic in the cup on March 8th.

Will you “empty the bank” when it comes to the home facet beating the bottom placed facet to strengthen to the quarter finals?

Or will you wager towards Celtic, and “empty the bank” on the Ibrox facet advancing?

When they have to play an away tie at Easter Road?

A aspect who might have a new supervisor in place, if performances below Nick Montgomery don’t enhance soon.

As I alluded to in Friday’s article on Bill Foley, if Montgomery doesn’t flip things around, their next appointment might just shock us all.

But I’m not inclined to make a prediction on what’s going to happen.

I understand higher than to make a idiot of myself all the time.

Unlike our Hugh.

Who has always, and will always, be right for a laugh.

Some matters will in no way change.

Following St Mirren’s victory, Luis Palma and Matt O’Riley were deeply impressed by a Celtic teammate.

Pre-match, there have been a few surprises in terms of crew selection. Kyogo commenced alongside Adam Idah up pinnacle whilst Luis Palma again to the side. A few gamers saved their spots, one of those being centre-half Stephen Welsh.

The 24-year-old has now started Celtic’s previous two matches, gaining some consistency. In this duo of back-to-back clashes, Welsh has achieved himself proud.

He contributed towards a warranted easy sheet at St. Mirren and pre-match, the Scotland internationalist revealed what the lower back 4 say to each different going into games while additionally touching on his partnership with Liam Scales: “Me and Scalesy have got a exact relationship on and off the pitch”, he said (Celtic FC on YouTube).

“Whoever plays in that back 4 is together.

“We communicate before the game that the most essential component is to play nicely and hold a clean sheet. When we do that in this crew we’ve received the great up front to win the game.”

A Celtic academy product, each and every Hoops boss over the past few years seems to have considered some thing in Welsh. He signed a new contract with the champions until 2027 in August of last yr as Rodgers displayed his trust in him.

At the centre of defence in the Celtic team, there is large competition. When Cameron Carter-Vickers returns, Welsh should see himself dropped but at the minute, he is taking his opportunities ahead of Maik Nawrocki and Gustaf Lagerbielke in his stride.